Ok...I need to vent! It has been a weekend from you know where when I am having momentary reconsiderations of my "dream" of being a Mom. Not to worry...I'll get over it, I still love my kids, wouldn't trade them for the world (at least for the moment :)) but man....Motherhood is not for wimps and this weekend I'm feeling VERY WIMPISH!!! So, you have been warned. If you can't take it or don't want to hear it, DON'T read on. :)
How is it that after you pay for soccer uniforms, cleats, new ball, team costs AND get up EARLY on a Saturday to be at the game, then you let them play for a few hours so they could enjoy their weekend------BUT, when they are asked to put THEIR things away and do THEIR jobs and help for 1 hour in cleaning and organizing the garage because of the mess THEIR toys make, they give you ATTITUDE beyond ATTITUDE and you are the worst parent ever?!?!?!?!?!? How is it that they do 1 little thing in said garage and then think they are done? So you have to go find them not once, not twice, not even 3 times----but 4 times and ask them through gritted teeth in a very psychotic voice to get back downstairs and help finish the job!!! I love teenagers, I love teenagers, I love teenagers.....if I say it enough will it become my reality?
How is it that my 4 year old is a demon? And then an Angel? And then a Demon? And then an Angel and so forth and so on--------and all of this happening about UMPTEEN times every day? I can't take it! I'm literally going to loose my mind due to Dr.Jekyll/Mr.Hyde-itis! :) I realize that it's because she has SOOOOO much personality and spirit that it just is BURSTING from her little 4 year old body, but really.....what is a Mom to do when her favorite Demon words are "hate", "stupid" and "shut up" (but that one is only used when Mommy can't hear), all of which are NOT allowed at our house. We've tried time out, pepper on the tongue, soap on the tongue etc... She doesn't really care. And then 2 seconds later her Angel words are "I love you", "I'm using my princess voice", "I'll help you" and "please". I'm SO CONFUSED!!! I guess patience, love, screaming into pillows and a few tears here and there ought to help me handle things! Oh, and don't forget my favorite Mommy Song by Hilary Weeks----she sings it to the tune of "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music and the chorus goes...." Bedtime & naptime and Bedtime & Naptime....Bedtime & Naptime and Bedtime & Naptime.....etc, etc, etc. So...that is also a saving grace. But the greatest saving grace? WALMART!!! Who knew that I would ever be SO excited to go to Walmart, alone, for a few minutes of peace and solace. I don't even mind the grumpy checkers or people who park their cart in the middle of the aisle. It's all good....because I'm having my Mommy Sanity Moment and I'm alone. And when I come back....I'm ready to handle just about anything!
OK.......whew.....I feel so much better! Got it off my chest and lest you think I'm in need of serious psychiatric help (hmmmmm.....) or that my children are in danger of being grounded for the rest of their lives (bit of a detour here----who came up with grounding? I mean really...who suffers more with grounding? The kids or the mom? :)) here are all the things that I absolutely love about them:
Sadie---she has the gift of love and forgiveness. I've never known anyone to apologize so quickly and so often. She is fast to realize when she's been a little snippy or mean and works to make it better immediately. She also is the most amazing helper around the house. I honestly don't know what I'd do without her. She's so responsible---does her homework & practices her piano without me asking her, gets up on her own for school, does her jobs and even goes to bed on-time on school nights. She is truly a GOOD, AMAZING, PRECIOUS Daughter of God and I'm so blessed to be her Mother.
Liam---I love how open Liam is to learning but also talking. He has such a bright mind and asks the most amazing questions that lead to GREAT conversations. I love that he's figuring out how to keep his room clean (on his own...sometimes!) He also is very aware of the spirit and how it whispers to him. He's great with his Scouting & Soccer and lately I've watched him spend time with
Briggs---Briggs fills our home with hugs and laughter. He says & does crazy things, loves freely, says kind things and is constantly on the move. It's hard to find him most of the time because he has such an inquisitive mind---he wants to learn, explore, move and HAVE FUN! His teacher gave us the best word to describe him---EXUBERANCE! The dictionary defines it as: abounding invigour and high spirits; full of vitality. Enough said! Briggs is always the first to compliment me---he notices when I have a new outfit or do my hair different and tells me I'm beautiful all the time. Every mom needs a Briggs. Briggs is a SWEET, LOVING, EXUBERANT blessing in our lives and I love being his Mom.
Well, there you have it. My rant is complete and ended in tears of joy and gratitude and being trusted with these special spirits. I think my Father in Heaven might be a little crazy (no offense!) in trusting them to me, but he must know something more about my abilities that I do. I'll just trust in Him, pray for patience and keep remembering that Motherhood is not for wimps! And hopefully one day, my kids will feel the same about me, as I do about my Mom. This quote says it all:
“Mother is the name for God
in the lips and hearts of children."
--William Makepeace Thackeray
5 comments:
Wow, you are completely normal and are an excellent mother. I only have one and I get the whole "angel/demon" days. What is that about? I love that you wrote down what you love about your kids...nice little reminder. And yes, alone time is a definite MUST! You are amazing!
2 hard days in a row in our house so I'm grateful to read what every mother feels and wonders about other mothers.(Am I a horrible person? Do other mothers feel this way? Am I going to lose my mind? Are my children going to live to adulthood?)
Love ya! keep on keepin on. You're wonderful and I can't wait to see you in 7 weeks!!!
HAHAHAHA! We can all relate! I did have a revelation though while reading your second paragraph. I'm speaking to myself here, too, you know! The child was LAZY BECAUSE you did those nice things for them. If they had to EARN their cleats, uniform, etc. by cleaning the garage, for example, I'll bet the garage would have been cleaned better, the sacrifice of your time and money (that you paid them to clean the garage, thus allowing them to purchase the soccer equipment) would have been more appreciated, and the kid would develop a better work ethic! Right?!? Now, off to try and practice what I just preached! :) Love ya, Maria! THANKS for sharing and let me tell you - I hear you!
P.S. as for the angel/demon...no idea there. I've got one of my own and I'm stumped. But I do remember hearing Melissa N. say once that stubbornness turns to diligence when they grow up. If Lydia's just like you, then you've got nothing to worry about for the future! :)
Oh, we've all been there --and will sadly go there many more times. Each child brings his/her own set of challenges and sweet blessings. That's easy to say. The hard part is really loving them enough to discipline with strength and kindness, notice the good things they do and support change in their weeknesses...all without sounding like a harpy. I know your kids. You are doing a wonderful job - remember that on the hard days. Mantra: "I can do this, He will help. I can do this, He will help. I can do this, He will help." Miss you so far away!
Your family sounds fantastic! One of these days we are going to get to meet them.
One thing that helped my kiddos learn to do things without complaint (still not perfect all the time) was to let them know that if they complained, that resulted in them getting another chore to do. They sure changed their attitudes quickly. Good luck!
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